twipot

aka Installment Two of 'Lisa and Abby's Amazing Adventures"...

Exam time does a funny thing to us all. It makes us a little loopy to say the least. Last night, the pressure of study seemed to get to Lisa and I, and via a facebook chat conversation, we contrived the following winning idea (and bear with me)....

Capitalizing on the mass hysteria for all things tweeny Vampire, we proposed creating a fanfic tale which fused Twilight, and Harry Potter. In doing this, it spans the collective memories of two sub-generations and taps into about 50% of the total retail fiction market for the past ten years.

Imagine: Harry and Edward coming together to battle an enemy.

Imagine: two major money spinners being unwillingly fused in one almighty pisstake.

Imagine: Lisa and Abby finding another way to weave crude sexual innuendos into everyday life. A way to further the status of the 'glitter wand' as a phallic euphemism in the minds of our friends. A way to further poison the minds of the corruptible (corrupted?) youth of today with thinly veiled tales of sex and morality.

Imagine: the movie spin off. Imagine the money.... We decided we would have to include Cedric Diggory in our story, as that would mean double the character opportunities for R-Patt, and therefore double the attractiveness to tweens, and of course the merchandising potential.

Until now, our crazy scheme had seemed *almost* plausible. Until we considered possible plotlines.

Somehow, our 'brainstorming' devolved to this:
Lady Gaga comes to give a concert at the Yule Ball at Hogwarts. But it turns out she is really an evil midget who kills people with her disco stick.

Harry tries to stop him/her(?) but is cut in the process. The scent of the blood rushes to the nostrils of Edward Cullen, who is instantly turned on, as let's face it, they are both closet homosexuals aren't they?

He rushes to Hogwarts with his speedy vampire running and all to help out his 'special friend' H-Pott.

When together, they form some kind of tween super crime fighting team. Cullen uses his glittery body, and Harry uses his wand. This fuses to become the GLITTER WAND! It is an omnipotent, indestructible death stick of awesomeness.

****cue NOT VERY SUBTLE, NOR MATURE PHALLUS JOKES***

Gaga's disco stick battles the glitter wand whilst Muse's Supermassive Black Hole plays in the background...

** supermassive black hole? glitter wand? let the imagery continue***

But of course, the shiny Glitter Twins reign supreme. They overpower Gaga, but she relents as she realises that just like Harry, she also has a lightening bolt on her face. Although hers is from facepaint, rather than faulty curses. However she considers this enough of a bond.

And they all live happily ever after. The End. Cue big Bollywood-style dance scene involving whole cast including CGI double R-Patts to keep the kids happy.


Sooo... what do you think? Are we onto a winner?