I really should learn to follow my own advice. Truly.
I previously counselled against gleaning information via the www about current, potential or former partners. Those cold hard facts, or even unsubstantiated allusions bite like little bullets at our hearts.
It can be a change in ‘relationship status’ on Facebook, incriminating photos posted of your man with new women or indeed finding his own cyber contributions to (far less noteworthy) blogs.
I have two particular incidents of information gathering (a far more flattering term than plain old stalking) which stand out in my mind.
The first was soon after meeting a gentleman who would come to occupy a not-insignificant portion of my formative years. After a period of courtship, I did what any self-respecting Generation Y member does: visits Google for some sneaky research.
After the standard Facebook references, Number 1 result after a name search was a contribution made to an online study forum for the Higher School Certificate from many, many years ago. This individual had posted an essay used for an English assessment, complete with abbreviations “u” in place of “you” and “2” in place of “to”.
Before I even began contemplating whether it was ever acceptable to use personal pronouns in formal literature assessments, I was overwhelmed with absolute humiliation that something so abhorrent to me (poor grammar) had apparently crept into my list of acceptable qualities in a partner.
However I was smitten, and rather than contemplate a future of monotonous conversations devoid of witty language manipulations, substituted instead with grunts and moans, I forgave such a crime.
This momentary omission in good judgement caused me months in relationship pain an anguish, resulting in an ultimate demise. Whilst the death of the affair is more than likely not connected to his absolute language rape, in future I shall certainly be more critical of the vocabulary faculties of potential partners.
The second occasion of ill-advised stalking happened just minutes ago, and prompted me to write this post as a form of therapy.
I was happily doing ‘research’ on a certain gentlemen I have a sweet spot for, when I happened upon information regarding his previous girlfriend.
You may wonder where I found such information…. Facebook? Twitter? A blog? Godforbid Myspace?
None of these.
No, it was Wikipedia.
She is so accomplished in her field of creativity she has a freaking Wikipedia posting.
Besides my HSC results, this blog forms the peak of documentation of my online success (fml much?).
So now, I’m feeling quite unworthy and pathetic,
Why? Am I pathetic? Yes, quite possibly. I googled. I stalked. Rather than watch re-runs of Harry Potter on Channel 9 like every other normal (?) person, I sit in my study, blasting Cream and brushing up my Private Eye skills.
Unworthy? Perhaps not. Considerations as to the suitability of creative folks for non-creative people is subject for further blog fodder, however needless to say, I was perfectly happy in my own skin until I began comparing myself to a person who not only no longer features in this man’s life, but now lives overseas and is dating a member of a rather famous band.
Moral of the story: Stop stalking! Back away from the computer. Go for a run, go to a café, write some lyrics, have a double gin.
Or even better, write a blog post telling the cyber world detailing just how pathetic you are.
I previously counselled against gleaning information via the www about current, potential or former partners. Those cold hard facts, or even unsubstantiated allusions bite like little bullets at our hearts.
It can be a change in ‘relationship status’ on Facebook, incriminating photos posted of your man with new women or indeed finding his own cyber contributions to (far less noteworthy) blogs.
I have two particular incidents of information gathering (a far more flattering term than plain old stalking) which stand out in my mind.
The first was soon after meeting a gentleman who would come to occupy a not-insignificant portion of my formative years. After a period of courtship, I did what any self-respecting Generation Y member does: visits Google for some sneaky research.
After the standard Facebook references, Number 1 result after a name search was a contribution made to an online study forum for the Higher School Certificate from many, many years ago. This individual had posted an essay used for an English assessment, complete with abbreviations “u” in place of “you” and “2” in place of “to”.
Before I even began contemplating whether it was ever acceptable to use personal pronouns in formal literature assessments, I was overwhelmed with absolute humiliation that something so abhorrent to me (poor grammar) had apparently crept into my list of acceptable qualities in a partner.
However I was smitten, and rather than contemplate a future of monotonous conversations devoid of witty language manipulations, substituted instead with grunts and moans, I forgave such a crime.
This momentary omission in good judgement caused me months in relationship pain an anguish, resulting in an ultimate demise. Whilst the death of the affair is more than likely not connected to his absolute language rape, in future I shall certainly be more critical of the vocabulary faculties of potential partners.
The second occasion of ill-advised stalking happened just minutes ago, and prompted me to write this post as a form of therapy.
I was happily doing ‘research’ on a certain gentlemen I have a sweet spot for, when I happened upon information regarding his previous girlfriend.
You may wonder where I found such information…. Facebook? Twitter? A blog? Godforbid Myspace?
None of these.
No, it was Wikipedia.
She is so accomplished in her field of creativity she has a freaking Wikipedia posting.
Besides my HSC results, this blog forms the peak of documentation of my online success (fml much?).
So now, I’m feeling quite unworthy and pathetic,
Why? Am I pathetic? Yes, quite possibly. I googled. I stalked. Rather than watch re-runs of Harry Potter on Channel 9 like every other normal (?) person, I sit in my study, blasting Cream and brushing up my Private Eye skills.
Unworthy? Perhaps not. Considerations as to the suitability of creative folks for non-creative people is subject for further blog fodder, however needless to say, I was perfectly happy in my own skin until I began comparing myself to a person who not only no longer features in this man’s life, but now lives overseas and is dating a member of a rather famous band.
Moral of the story: Stop stalking! Back away from the computer. Go for a run, go to a café, write some lyrics, have a double gin.
Or even better, write a blog post telling the cyber world detailing just how pathetic you are.
hahahahahahahahahahahaha.... I watched half of harry potter on channel 9, am I half normal(?)?
ReplyDeleteThis girl is in his past - surely his selfesteem may be a bit damaged, but this means he is in need of some quality night moves?
all will be fine...