Over dinner last night, Miss L, our friend N and I were discussing another friend and his blossoming friendship with a female new to his friendship circle. N pointed out our friends’ romantic intentions towards this girl, and cautioned he was getting dangerously close to being stuck in the “Friendzone”.
I nearly choked on my Merlot in surprise at such a term, whilst Miss L nodded, apparently completely understanding what N was attempting to express.
I sought definitional clarification. Rolling his eyes, N explained the Friendzone was the awkward position one can be stuck in when they have so firmly engrained the foundations of friendship, that the other party cannot envision anything beyond this type of relationship and is therefore oblivious to the burning fire held for them in another’s heart.
In short, it’s relationship limbo. A failure to christen and define spells a lifetime in platonic purgatory.
I must admit, this is a problem I have never faced. My relationships do not spring from long established friendly bonds. Rather, passionate intensity paves for a connection where it is passion first, and friendship an evolutionary, developmental step in the relationship.
As could be expected however, this fervour is not always sustained when the relationship must move beyond the transcendental honeymoon period and must weather the mundane.
On occasion it has been successful, and this has resulted in long term involvements based not only on intensely close bonds, but sustained zeal.
More often than not, ardour sizzles and dies spectacularly.
Is it a case of too much, too soon? Perhaps.
But in reverse, can there be such a thing as too slow? Is there a time period by which one must act, or risk losing the opportunity forever?
It’s a complicated issue, and I suppose from my perspective, whilst the abrupt end to a relationship coinciding with an end of ease and transition into an effort situation is desperately painful, I would prefer this to the waning and waiting for someone to recognise my true feelings veiled by an engagement couched in friendship.
Either way, it’s a pretty messy situation, so here'sa completely gratuitous shot of lovely Versailles band Phoenix. Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix makes the bad go away.
I nearly choked on my Merlot in surprise at such a term, whilst Miss L nodded, apparently completely understanding what N was attempting to express.
I sought definitional clarification. Rolling his eyes, N explained the Friendzone was the awkward position one can be stuck in when they have so firmly engrained the foundations of friendship, that the other party cannot envision anything beyond this type of relationship and is therefore oblivious to the burning fire held for them in another’s heart.
In short, it’s relationship limbo. A failure to christen and define spells a lifetime in platonic purgatory.
I must admit, this is a problem I have never faced. My relationships do not spring from long established friendly bonds. Rather, passionate intensity paves for a connection where it is passion first, and friendship an evolutionary, developmental step in the relationship.
As could be expected however, this fervour is not always sustained when the relationship must move beyond the transcendental honeymoon period and must weather the mundane.
On occasion it has been successful, and this has resulted in long term involvements based not only on intensely close bonds, but sustained zeal.
More often than not, ardour sizzles and dies spectacularly.
Is it a case of too much, too soon? Perhaps.
But in reverse, can there be such a thing as too slow? Is there a time period by which one must act, or risk losing the opportunity forever?
It’s a complicated issue, and I suppose from my perspective, whilst the abrupt end to a relationship coinciding with an end of ease and transition into an effort situation is desperately painful, I would prefer this to the waning and waiting for someone to recognise my true feelings veiled by an engagement couched in friendship.
Either way, it’s a pretty messy situation, so here'sa completely gratuitous shot of lovely Versailles band Phoenix. Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix makes the bad go away.
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