*thanks Sparkadia for my title*
My recent posts have all been concerned about the presence of the ex-girlfriend and her place in the future relationship. Apparently this is keeping my grey matter stimulated, and my paranoia rolling on.
However, like my stalking ways I feel safe in the knowledge that I am not alone in my ex fixation. This subject has been addressed my many a film, novel, song and blog post so anything I write is sure to be far from original.
So I offer you some anecdotes from my disastrous experiences, as well as tales from my nearest and dearest.
However, like my stalking ways I feel safe in the knowledge that I am not alone in my ex fixation. This subject has been addressed my many a film, novel, song and blog post so anything I write is sure to be far from original.
So I offer you some anecdotes from my disastrous experiences, as well as tales from my nearest and dearest.
Perhaps my favourite story is that of a very favourite friend of mine. Many years ago now, she began a relationship with a dashing young lad. Just 18, my friend understandably had little in the way of serious relationship experience. Her beau however, had previously been in a semi-long term relationship which drew to a messy end months prior to their dalliance beginning.
However despite relationship conclusion, this ex would not leave, and to dabble in colloquialism, seemed perfectly prepared to hang around like a bad smell. After months of less than coincidental chance meetings, friendly texts and generally making her presence known to my friend, my lovely mate resorted to dirty tactics.
She brought me in. It seems that the crazy ex had found a new tactic- by attaching herself to her ex-boyfriends’ best friends, she had found a way to maintain significant threat to my lovely friends’ psyche.
My mission: to flirt with the boyfriends’ best friend, therefore detracting from Crazy’s attempts to successfully elicit coupling from best friend.
It seems that when issues with a mission, my perfectionist nature emerges. I performed this task with aplomb. The best friend and I hit it off, and spent the evening flirtatiously discussing Wallabies line-ups and swapping Anchorman quotes (*so 2004*).
Three years later, we were still in a very loving relationship. However all good things must come to an end, and that end is the subject of another story.
The moral of this tale: People will do desperate things to attempt to obviate the ex issue (or just be hilariously spiteful… fantastic).
However despite relationship conclusion, this ex would not leave, and to dabble in colloquialism, seemed perfectly prepared to hang around like a bad smell. After months of less than coincidental chance meetings, friendly texts and generally making her presence known to my friend, my lovely mate resorted to dirty tactics.
She brought me in. It seems that the crazy ex had found a new tactic- by attaching herself to her ex-boyfriends’ best friends, she had found a way to maintain significant threat to my lovely friends’ psyche.
My mission: to flirt with the boyfriends’ best friend, therefore detracting from Crazy’s attempts to successfully elicit coupling from best friend.
It seems that when issues with a mission, my perfectionist nature emerges. I performed this task with aplomb. The best friend and I hit it off, and spent the evening flirtatiously discussing Wallabies line-ups and swapping Anchorman quotes (*so 2004*).
Three years later, we were still in a very loving relationship. However all good things must come to an end, and that end is the subject of another story.
The moral of this tale: People will do desperate things to attempt to obviate the ex issue (or just be hilariously spiteful… fantastic).
For me in another relationship, the jealousy was not of an ex-girlfriend, but of the ‘bromance’ that occupied his time prior to our relationship.
This particular gentleman had a very close circle of friends, fantastic in their rich and diverse passions, interests and talents. This is something immensely attractive to me in a potential partner, as there is something to be said for his friends beyond more than dirty stoner musicians, or drunken rugby louts.
However unique to this circle of friends was their specific gender. Every single individual was male and had been in this intensely polygamous relationship for many years and it seemed to be a tough nut to crack.
Nonetheless I was confident in my abilities. I am typically a ‘guys girl’. I can discuss rugby, music, cricket, motorbike racing, politics, terminator films and most topics as well as any man. However in this instance I was overconfident. This group was impenetrable.
My imagined visions of fusions of friendship circles enjoying gigs, days in the sun drinking gin and summer parties dancing in the rain would never be realised. Alas we were destined to attend the same gigs, but maintain opposing quarters.
I soon came to see I could never occupy Number One position in this mans’ heart. His loyalties were an all male affair.
Similarly, another attraction to a somewhat successful musician had me begrudging tour dates, recording obligations and other women deploying the weapons of cleavage, short skirts and slutty behaviour to attempt to derail me.
All in all, it seems the ex factor is not so much about the person, but our own jealousies. Jealousy is certainly a bitter little pill poisoning relationships, but its focus is not limited to previous partners. If in fact it was, this would be a blissful state of affairs. After all, the ex is exactly that-ex. The relationship ended, no doubt for good reason and she is left in the cold, whilst he shares his bed with you.
It’s the friends, the career, the family and everything else which is going nowhere you have to worry about.
This particular gentleman had a very close circle of friends, fantastic in their rich and diverse passions, interests and talents. This is something immensely attractive to me in a potential partner, as there is something to be said for his friends beyond more than dirty stoner musicians, or drunken rugby louts.
However unique to this circle of friends was their specific gender. Every single individual was male and had been in this intensely polygamous relationship for many years and it seemed to be a tough nut to crack.
Nonetheless I was confident in my abilities. I am typically a ‘guys girl’. I can discuss rugby, music, cricket, motorbike racing, politics, terminator films and most topics as well as any man. However in this instance I was overconfident. This group was impenetrable.
My imagined visions of fusions of friendship circles enjoying gigs, days in the sun drinking gin and summer parties dancing in the rain would never be realised. Alas we were destined to attend the same gigs, but maintain opposing quarters.
I soon came to see I could never occupy Number One position in this mans’ heart. His loyalties were an all male affair.
Similarly, another attraction to a somewhat successful musician had me begrudging tour dates, recording obligations and other women deploying the weapons of cleavage, short skirts and slutty behaviour to attempt to derail me.
All in all, it seems the ex factor is not so much about the person, but our own jealousies. Jealousy is certainly a bitter little pill poisoning relationships, but its focus is not limited to previous partners. If in fact it was, this would be a blissful state of affairs. After all, the ex is exactly that-ex. The relationship ended, no doubt for good reason and she is left in the cold, whilst he shares his bed with you.
It’s the friends, the career, the family and everything else which is going nowhere you have to worry about.
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